To Somebody: 05/19/2008
 

Periodically, I will give you a glimpse into the secret life of the anonymous. On the days that I won’t be diverging a trickle of gossip to you, I will be living it. I prefer to write this when it is that I find time instead of making time for it because even on this site I will be anonymous; a nobody in a world of sombodys. I know that this must seem strange when we live in a world of multitudes seeking to leave their unique mark on this world. I may dent it but for now I prefer to do it under the context of equality. I am equal to the surrounding masses as they are equal to me.

I must first let you know that I am nobody. I fit into no specific stereotype and can lay claim to no clique or category. Though I don’t always prefer to be me, I am me. Through my blog, my younger years may come into focus but as for this specific beginning it is in the present and not the past that I shall frolic.

Today was a fairly nice day meteorologically speaking, but socially lacking as most days do. The very climax of my anti-conformity has been squandered into a mere memory. It has been 5 days since I have mismatched, a style I claim as my own. On this dreary note, I must tell you a most significant tale. It is the tale of my pathetic and hypocritical human nature. It is the tale of Charles, the prince among procks. This word is of my own creation meaning to be both a prep and a jock. I cannot even begin to elaborate my strong feelings about both stereotypes. Though I don’t place people in individual stereotypes I do tend to group my fellow peers upon enlightenment and when it comes to Charles, I am thoroughly enlightened.

My tale begins on a rather sweltering day in late August. Dressed to shock and awe, I opened the door to what would become the hellish prison of my youth. With that, I entered high school. In I swept with a mannerism of absolute and utter terror. It was in those first moments that my innocence had not yet been tarnished that I dared gaze upon the angel that stood in the hallway blocking my only exit of flight from his gaze. It was in that moment that I was imprisoned by his devilish intensity which was masked behind his perfect body and athletic build. For the next three years, I would fight for air at the irony in being seated beside him in all his coincidental appearances. It wasn’t until today that I would miss his drugging effect. Sunday-yesterday-was the last day that I will ever again be allowed the privilege to cower in his magnanimous essence that fills the room only slightly faster than his ego.

That last statement may be somewhat of a shock but even more shocking was how much I really didn’t like this guy. He is cruel and at more times than not utterly heartless. To top it off he was one of the school’s best man-whores though money never changed hands in any instances. Yes, I am quite a strange person but you know what they say, “love is blind.” I do not-for the record-believe that I was ever or will ever believe that I love him. I am not dead in his absence and I feel numb as is a normality in my daily existence. I chose that topic as simply laying down a few of my teeming thoughts.

Life is a plethora (An ‘A’ paper word along with cornucopia) of experiences and no one can hope obtain only pleasant ones.  I leave you now with only the gnawing notion that this blog will be like me. Only a glimmer of existence in a sea of unrealistic dreams, hopes, and obsessions.

Signed,

A nobody in a world full of somebodys

 


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